Cathy hadn't felt right for ages. Wanting to avoid bad news she hadn't seen the doctor preferring to simply carry on with life as usual. This worked well for her for quite some time but eventually time caught up. Passing out on the way home while wearing a cool red fez after a particularly stressful day at the employer who cannot be named (seriously, "if only you knew who I worked for" she always said) she was taken to hospital. After loads of tests the doctors clustered around her as a cluster of doctors does. The lead doctor particularly boring and detached as only lead doctors can be, delivered the fateful news. "Cathy you're quite fucked I'm afraid, if only you'd come to see us months ago we might have been able to help. You've got microscopic frogs in your blood. There's nothing we can do. We're going to kick you out now as we can't help you at all." In the corner there was a dark bearded figure who was bobbing his head enjoying the music and language of another that resided within. "Fractals it is, yes, Fractals. Yours are flat." The laconic doctor turned to the beardo and said "I've told you to stay out of this hospital, get out both of you. You have no place here. None."
Cathy was quite depressed at the news and wandered out of the hospital and hopped on a bus to go home to figure out what kind of party to throw to at least go out with a massive bang, this whimpering going out quietly shit wasn't for her. At every street corner she looked out the widow and there was the beardo in his grey hoodie astride a bike she somehow knew was alive and named Terrence. She wasn't sure how but she knew. Maybe the voices in her head. She kept getting images of an octopus.
Eventually she got home, she hadn't seen the beardo for a few streets and she thinks she's lost him. Walking in she hears water running and goes to investigate. In her bathroom she finds a massive purple octopus in her bath. The octopus burbled at her "see the beardo, he can help you", weirdly Cathy simply accepted this was true since simply having an octopus in the bath simply made it so. You can't question an octopus. Besides she had this weird thought of what it would feel like to be hugged by an octopus. The octopus chuckled to itself knowing it's Cthulhu mind control would get him what he wanted and he wanted that fez, he thought it would really set of his purple bulb as it throbbed with octopus pleasure.
After handing over the fez for reasons she couldn't understand. She had no idea where to find the beardo so she went for a walk down by the beach to that rock, somehow she always knew what to do at that rock.
Trudging through the darkness in the distance she saw fire, not much but it was moving in great circles. Getting closer she saw the beardo on that rock spinning fire that spit white sparks as the bike she somehow knew was Terrence watched on.
Climbing up onto the rock she was enveloped in the fire as it spun around her and the beardo. Cathy said "I've come for your help, but I don't even know why." The beardo said "That's simple, I can help you because I'm Charles." "Get fucked! the Charles?".
"Lean in to my beard and look deep into the hair. The answer will come." As Cathy leans in thousands of small orange rabbits leap from the beard into her eyes and burrow in. Somehow this doesn't hurt or even seem wrong. The rabbits are gone for a few minutes then all of them hop out of Cathy's left ear and bounce back into the beard. "Adjusted your fractals they have, indeed."
Feeling better than she had for ages she knew this was true. Pulling a silver sack from her bag she says "Want some goon?" Indeed says the beardo.
A note from the author, this story is the fault of Cathy and Charles, tiredness and an undisclosed amount of alcohol.
Image courtesy +Cathy Samuels used with permission.
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